Saturday, September 01, 2007

Stalling Your Career

The Burgh Correspondent asked what the big deal was about the Senator Larry Craig fiasco, wondering if it might have just been a misunderstanding over needing more toilet paper. I'm not sure how I feel about being her go-to guy on cruising etiquette, but I was able to summon up a few thoughts.

I don’t know a lot about the cruising habits of homosexuals in restrooms, but I expect that cop does. It’s his job. (I wonder who he pissed off to get that gig.)

What I do know is this:

  1. Guys who need toilet paper don’t use hand gestures to request it; we ask.
  2. Those were either really tight stalls, or he has a wider stance than Shaquille O’Neal.
  3. After six or seven weeks of contemplation, the distinguished Senator from Idaho pled guilty.
  4. He didn’t mention it to anyone, which an innocent man would have done.
  5. Rumors have floated around him 25 years, ever since he went out of his way to profess his innocence during a congressional page scandal that no one accused him of being involved in.
  6. While no one (except maybe a few of his conservative peers) cares that he’s gay, a lot of people care that he’s a hypocritical asshole, who would happily vote in favor of public flogging for someone (else) convicted of his offense.

I just wish this had taken place closer to the election, so a few more of his holier than thou conservative brethren could go down the tubes with him.

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