Wednesday, January 05, 2005

News Flash

This just in from the LA Correspondent:

PITTSBURGH--In an effort to increase revenues and save a franchise that doesn't give a crap about winning, the owners of the Pittsburgh Pirates announced that they will change the name of the team to the New York Pirates of Pittsburgh.

Bud Selig, still the commissioner of baseball for some damn reason, had no comment, though sources tell the Associated Press than Selig's former team, the Milwaukee Brewers are considering renaming themselves the Chicago Brewers of Milwaukee.

Pirate owner Kevin McClatchy said in a press release that the name change should allow the Pirates to increase their payroll from last year's $32 million to $35 million in 2005. "This could be the difference between getting a firstbaseman who can hit 15 or 16 homeruns. We could be contending for third place next year." Lloyd McClendon said he was "excited" about the change. "I always wanted to manage in New York. I know the press coverage will be intense but I know my team is ready for the challenge."

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