Only in Bal'Mer...

This falls into the "Shit You Can't Make Up" category.

From the Baltimore Sun:

Typically, prisoners who are on work release get to leave the inside of the jail to work outside the fence, and then must return.

David Newton, on home detention awaiting trial on drug and burglary charges, had an opposite course. He would leave his home to go to work inside the jail, and would then return to his house at the end of the day, as a condition of his pre-trial release.

So prison officials were perplexed Wednesday afternoon when they said the 19-year-old Newton, who was not cuffed or shackled, ran from correctional officers who were escorting him to the laundry room at the Baltimore City Detention Center.

Authorities said Newton scaled one fence and was climbing over a second along East Monument Street when a correctional officer shot him twice in the leg. He was only hours away from the end of his shift, at which point he would have climbed into a prison van and been driven home.

"He woke up in his own bed, and he could've gone back to his own bed tonight," said Rick Binetti, a spokesman for the Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services.

More can be found here.

Our Leadership At Work

Two conjoined headlines from today's Washington Post:

Senate again blocks jobs aid

Move leaves more than 1.2 million people without support checks, millions more could lose benefits.

• Congress votes to spare doctors Medicare cuts

Bastards.

McChrystal Clear

This should have been easy. General mouths off publicly about the Commander-in-Chief, he goes. Only in Washington could this become a soap opera over the course of a couple of days.

Without getting too far into the weeds, McChrystal was wrong. The Uniform Code of Military Justice specifically forbids comments such as his. One of the first lessons recruits are taught is that they have given up some of their Constitutional rights by enlisting, key among which is freedom of speech. The debate about whether this is a good idea can be held another time. (I happen to think it is, on several levels.) Given the facts as they exist, McChrystal was out of line; the only relevant question is what to do with him?

He can't stay where he is. No Commander-in-Chief can have a subordinate commander in the field treat him with such open disrespect; I'm sure McChrystal wouldn't stand for it from one of his men. You can't transfer him, for the same reason.

So, McChrystal has to go. How to do it? There should be no need for Obama to fire him; McChrystal's service to the country has earned him the right to resign, which he should have done the minute the story broke, thus allowing the offended party (Obama) the opportunity to either accept it (as he has done), or to make a magnanimous (but misguided) gesture and allow him to stay. Letting it linger for a few days did nothing to enhance McChrystal's reputation.

As for Republicans who argue he can't be replaced at this juncture: grow up. The military is based on the idea that anyone might have to be replaced on a moment's notice. If McChrystal had died in the middle of giving an order, his second-in-command would be expected to step up and finish it. It's true everywhere, but nowhere more so than in the military: no one is indispensable.

It's a shame, though. No one gets to be a four star just because he's a master schmoozer; McChrystal had to be good, especially to make that rank with some of the blemishes he has on his record. So we lost a good warrior today, but we can't say we lost a good soldier, or he wouldn't have been in that situation to begin with.

Another MBA Sighting

General Motors finally means business about turning the company around; employees have been requested no longer to refer to the Chevrolet Division as “Chevy.”

“We’d ask that whether you’re talking to a dealer, reviewing dealer advertising, or speaking with friends and family, that you communicate our brand as Chevrolet moving forward,” said the memo, which was signed by Alan Batey, vice president for Chevrolet sales and service, and Jim Campbell, the G.M. division’s vice president for marketing.

“When you look at the most recognized brands throughout the world, such as Coke or Apple for instance, one of the things they all focus on is the consistency of their branding,” the memo said. “Why is this consistency so important? The more consistent a brand becomes, the more prominent and recognizable it is with the consumer.”

Apparently neither Mr. Batey nor Mr. Campbell is aware that “Coke” is a nickname for Coca-Cola. Assuming it was the soft drink they were referring to, and not the substance that apparently fuels decision-making at GM.

Carly Fiorina Gets Serious

The California senate campaign is getting nasty fast. Yesterday, Carly Fiorina made this comment about her opponent, Barbara Boxer:

“Laura saw Barbara Boxer briefly on television this morning and said what everyone said, ‘God what is that hair?” Sooooooooooooo yesterday,”

Yes, it was an unguarded comment, and she probably wasn’t aware the microphone was open. Later, CNN’s Great van Susteren gave Fiorina a chance to step back graciously.

VAN SUSTEREN: You said.. you're giving [Boxer] a little problem for her hair. You know, it's -- what do you got -- what do you have to say about that one, having -- all of us have suffered from the old bad hair...

FIORINA: Oh, you know, I was -- I was quoting a friend of mine. My goodness, my hair's been talked about by a million people, you know? It sort of goes with the territory.

VAN SUSTEREN: All right, OK...

FIORINA: Especially when you don't have any. As you remember, I started out with none.

California politics, aka Mean Girls 2010.

Carly for CA

It’s fashionable for contemporary Republicans candidates to tout their business acumen in tandem with the mantra of “government should be run like a business. The argument about whether government should be run like a business is for another time; it’s their credentials we’re concerned with here.

Carly Fiorina has one qualification as a candidate for public office: she was once the CEO of computer giant Hewlett-Packard. Since Republicans also believe the market is never wrong, here’s what it had to say about her tenure, from a CNN article in April, 2005:

Hewlett-Packard Co. Chairman and CEO Carly Fiorina, one of the most powerful women in corporate America, is leaving the troubled computer maker after being forced out by the company's board.

Shares of HP (Research) jumped 6.9 percent in heavy trading on the New York Stock Exchange Wednesday on the news. But at one point, the stock was up as much as 10.5 percent.

"The stock is up a bit on the fact that nobody liked Carly's leadership all that much," said Robert Cihra, an analyst with Fulcrum Global Partners. "The Street had lost all faith in her and the market's hope is that anyone will be better."

California Republicans elected her as their candidate in November’s senatorial election, to run against incumbent Barbara Boxer. Apparently the federal government isn’t going broke fast enough to suit them.

Lowering the Bar

It’s not worrisome enough that people can “earn” a four-year college degree in two years, or work on their Bachelors and Masters at the same time, as some otherwise respectable schools claim. Now you can get college credit while working at Wal-Mart. I don’t mean by taking classes after work; I mean just doing your job.

Here’s my favorite:

Daniel Soto of Hardeeville, S.C., works full time at Wal-Mart as a zone manager supervisor, lending a hand in several departments. He had to give up college to work, but said he could see some of his duties translating to academia, such as the algebraic equations he uses to figure out how much merchandise will fit on a shelf or how much of a product to order.

"I do math all day at Wal-Mart," he said.

(I got that from the Washington Post, not The Onion.)

I’m not suggesting he’s anything but bright. Figuring shelf space is not what many would consider college-level math; this is ninth grade shit. Once it’s on his transcript, though, it might count for any number of degrees that could put him into a key decision-making position where someone actually does have to know college-level math.

The education bar gets lower every year in this country; pretty soon we’ll have to dig a trench for it. The Sole Heir attend the University of Maryland, not APU of one of the other for-profit “universities,” so her degree shouldn’t be cheapened much. What’s troubling is that these degrees will eventually become more commonly accepted, as people not well aware of educational standards just see “Bachelors Degree, XXX University” and think a university is a university.

You’re okay with for-profit colleges? Think about this. There are for-profit nursing schools out there, where the hands-on component of the education consists of watching someone else do it; everything else was online. These are accredited schools, mind you; the credentials of the accrediting agencies is open to conjecture. States, or groups of them, are okay with this standard of nursing, which is another argument for the nationalization of standards in some areas. Do you want to be passing through one of these states, have an accident, and find out your nurse has never actually inserted a catherter?

Well, Duh

Online magazine Slate likes to position itself as a left-leaning, hiply intellectual voice. Like a lot of left-leaning thinkers they sometimes overthink things and articles get written that make "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" downright concrete. Witness this headline:

Why Are Indian Kids So Good At Spelling?

Have you seen their names? The defending National Spelling Bee champion is Kavya Shivashankar. You think she worries about spelling "hydrargyrum"? A twelve-year-old kid named Chidhambarathan can crank out "escritoire" with no more effort than some drk named Smith spells "kat."

I'm not saying this is bad. These kids are kick ass spellers; good on them. Wondering why they're such good spellers is like wondering why Shaquille O'Neal can dunk.

That Sinking Feeling

The Show tunes correspondent showed me this article about the sinkhole that ate a three-story building in Guatemala, and might still be growing. He asked where something goes when it drops into a sinkhole.

My guess is Texas.

Conjuring the Fifth

Most people consider me a social liberal. (“You’re saying that just to piss me off. No one’s really as liberal as you pretend to me,” can safely be described as coming down on that side.) I don’t believe in torture, and I think our Constitutional protections, and this country’s willingness to get out in front of the rest of the world in this regard, is a form of “American exceptionalism” we can be proud of. Still, common sense is in order, and the Supreme Court got one right today when it ruled, in a 5-4 decision, that a suspect must actually invoke his Fifth Amendment protection against self-incrimination if he wishes to take advantage of it.

Here’s the gist of it: Van Chester Thompson was arrested for murder in 2001. Advised of his rights, he said he understood them. He then sat through about three hours of interrogation, occasionally answering “yes,” “no,” or “I don’t know.” When a cop asked if Thompson prayed for forgiveness for “shooting that boy down,” Thompson said, “yes.”

Oops.

That got him convicted, and I can see why. Thompson appealed, arguing the statement should be thrown out because he tacitly invoked Miranda by being uncommunicative. Please. All he had to do was to say, “I want a lawyer,” “I don’t want to answer any questions,” or “I’m taking the Fifth.” Anything along those lines would have compelled the cops to stop the interrogation, or this would be an entirely different case.

Invoking the Fifth Amendment is not a clever tool for cherry-picking answers. Grand jury witnesses who appear under grants of immunity must invoke their protection against self-incrimination with the first question. You’re not allowed to answer the questions you like, then dodge the ones that could get you into trouble. We can argue about whether that’s fair—I have my doubts—but it’s been established law for years.

As Chris Rock says in his priceless video essay, “How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police,” the best thing for someone in Thompson’s situation to do is to “Shut the fuck up.” But not till after you ask for a lawyer. It’s your right, you know.

Los Suns

The Phoenix Suns wore home uniforms emblazoned with "Los Suns" for last night's playoff game against San Antonio. This is something they always do if they play on Cinco de Mayo; last night the team made it a point to let people know it was a subtle form of protest against Arizona's recently enacted immigration law. That's what got people talking about how inappropriate it is for a sports franchise to bring politics into sports.

Oh, please.

Whether the jerseys were a political statement or good business can be debated. I'm sure the Suns have research that shows what percentage of their fan base is Hispanic, or, at least, what percentage of Hispanics they'd like to have as members of their fan base. No one seems to mind when the San Diego Padres wear cammo unis to show their support for the large military contingent in the San Diego area. The only difference lies in the fact that no one is taking the other side; supporting military personnel is, properly, less controversial.

What's odd is how athletes are described as heroic when they take a stand on something. "They make a lot of money, they can't afford to piss anyone off." This is backward. These guys make so much money, no one in is better positioned to withstand some blowback. Guy making ten million a year should have several million in the bank; he'll muddle through. Also, the salary money is secure; so long as he can play, he'll get paid. Only endorsements will be placed in jeopardy. It's human nature to maximize earning potential for as long as possible, but taking a stand that might cost a few endorsements is hardly comparable to storming Omaha Beach.

Sports in America—especially professional sports—is inextricably entwined with politics. If you doubt this, look around at the next game you see. With very few exceptions—Fenway Park, Wrigley Field—the buildings in which the games are played were built because politicians sacked the taxpayers for anywhere from a couple of hundred million to a billion dollars, often while under threats from the owners to move the team.

It's never wrong to do the right thing; the key is in how it's done. The Suns expressed support for their Hispanic fans with the "Los Suns" shirts; it's not like they wore something that said the Arizona legislature are racist despots. (I'm not saying that, either, though I strongly disagree with the new law.) Showing support for one side in a dispute is not the same as disrespecting the other, though it may be interpreted that way. If someone were to receive an invitation to the White House from a president with whom one vehemently disagreed, declining the invitation is not inappropriate; making a public statement to the effect that the invitation was declined because the recipient thinks the current executive is a communist/idiot/fascist/child molester is because it disrespects the office, and, by association, the nation.

What shouldn't be forgotten is that the Suns found a way to show support for one side in a dispute without openly questioning the motives/patriotism/intelligence of the other side. It would be nice to hope this could start a trend, but that's asking a lot in the current climate.

Honor With an Expiration Date

Some Republicans—notably Senator John McCain (AZ)—are outraged that terrorists like Faisal Shahzad are entitled to the same Miranda rights as ordinary criminals. “"When we detain terrorism suspects, our top priority should be finding out what intelligence they have that could prevent future attacks and save American lives," McCain said. "Our priority should not be telling them they have a right to remain silent."

Apparently McCain another priority should be to mak sure these same terrorists have open access to firearms and explosives. Yesterday Senator Joe Lieberman’s (I-CT) Homeland Security Committee interviewed witnesses—including New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Police Commissioner Ray Kelly—with an eye toward finally passing legislation forbidding those on terrorist watch lists (like the No Fly List) from purchasing such weapons; the NRA has beaten back such efforts in the past.

McCain sits on Lieberman’s committee; except for yesterday’s hearings, when defending his mutually exclusive positions might have proven inconvenient. He’s not alone in his willingness to deny terrorists all rights other than the right to bear arms, but he’s the most offensive. Here’s a man who built his career on honor and doing the right thing, staying behind in a Vietnamese prison camp because it wasn’t his turn to get out, and later traveling to Vietnam to show bygones were bygones. Now he’s such a pandering hypocrite the words “pandering” and “hypocrite” have petitioned the Oxford English Dictionary to have their definitions changed.

The Line of The Day

South Dakota Senator John Thune—Number Four in the Senate Republican leadership—on Tennessee's Republican Senator Bob Corker, a proponent of stricter financial regulations:

"I think he's a guy who's willing to get down into the weeds. Because he immerses himself in that and understands it so well — the positions he adopts may not always be the ones that everyone else in our conference comes to."

I have nothing to add to that.

New Blog

I'm starting a new blog, Home Office Sports, because there are just times when I want to comment on sports, but I'm leery of making this blog too much of a hodge-podge. It will be mostly about Pittsburgh sports teams, but I'll cover other sports-related topics a the mood moves me. It should be fun, subject to the same low standards of research and editing I've been providing here for several years now.

Come on over.

Schadenfreude

A better person wouldn't be so happy about the Washington Capitals becoming the first Number 1 seed to blow a 3 games to 1 lead to an 8 seed last night. Unfortunately, there's not one available right now.

Caps fans have been assuming the Stanley Cup was theirs by divine right since Christmas. Easily the best record in the league, team records in wins and points, and Alex Ovechkin, their designated "best player in the game." Two weeks ago, I passed droves of Caps fans walking into Metro on my way out, smiling, laughing, wondering if they'd win the best of seven series in three games; yesterday they passed me like men on their way to the doctor to get the verdict on that lump they found on their nuts.

Here's a bit of how they managed such an historic collapse:
- The league's best power play during the season--they scored on over 25% of their opportunities--converted only once in 33 tries. That's 3%. Yep. Three.
- Their league-leading offense--they scored 46 more goals than any other team during the season--scored three times--total--over the last three games. Yep. Three.
- The NHL likes to name its awards after people. The Art Ross Trophy. Conn Smythe. Vezina. Caps forward Alexander Semin qualified himself for anew one in this series: the Claude Rains Invisible Man Award. Forty goals during the season; none in seven playoff games. Yep. None.
- Mike Green bribed enough voters to qualify as a Norris Trophy finalist for best defenseman. Here's another new award suggestion: the Ronald Reagan Award, for most overrated.

Full props to the Canadiens. Goalie Jaroslav Halak stopped 131 of 134 shots over the last three games; his defense blocked almost that many, including an absurd 41 last night. Their Number 2 rated power play during the season didn't desert them like the Caps' did: they scored when they had to, even though consistently outplayed five-on-five. The Habs did what they had to do to win; the Caps did what they felt like doing, and never developed an answer for what Montreal threw at them.

All season, Caps fans have been acting like the Penguins were just renting the Cup, and it would take its rightful place in Washington this year. As I told someone a few weeks ago, after they beat the Pens to complete a regular season sweep: You're the champ until you're eliminated. Everything else is just talk.

Note to Caps' players: It's not all bad news. Most golf courses have reduced greens fees while the schools are still in session.

Drill, Baby, Drill!

It's good to see that offshore oil exploration has reached a standard of safety that we need no longer concern ourselves with the consequences of an accident, as this NASA photo clearly shows.

Thanks to the Show Tunes Correspondent for sending this.

How Not to Increase Sales

We purchased the NHL Center Ice package last fall and have seen all but one Penguins' game this year. It's been fun, very educational from a hockey perspective, and helped me to get back in touch with some things I'd always enjoyed but had drifted away from due to the demands of everyday life.

The Pens' package went so well I thought strongly about enlisting in the Major League Baseball equivalent, Extra Innings. While an opportunity to watch all 162 Pirates games may seem like a deal made in masochist's heaven, I wanted to be in on the ground floor with young prospects like Andrew McCutcheon, Pedro Alvarez, Jose Tabata, and, we hope, Brad Lincoln and Tony Sanchez so I wouldn't look like a bandwagon-jumping frontrunner when they got good. (For a definition of "bandwagon-jumping frontrunner," look in the dictionary under "Washington Capitals Fan.")

These premium services give you a few free weeks to see how you like the service. Early season baseball watching is limited by conflicts with the Stanley Cup playoffs, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to invest in something that wasn't really worth the effort if I didn't plan to watch well over 100 games a year. Still, the hockey plan was great for those evenings when mental vegetation is in order, as there's almost always a game on somewhere; with baseball, there really would be a game on all the time. The Pirates swept Cincinnati last weekend, coming from behind twice. They were 7-5, one game out of first, and I was thinking of how I might juggle my schedule to catch four or five games a week.

Then Milwaukee came to town.

Three days later the Pirates had been swept themselves, outscored over the three game series by a total of 36-1; they lost 20-0—which is an embarrassing football score—on Thursday afternoon. My first thought was, "There's no way I'm going to sit through 140 games of this shit." So the deal's off.

They'll have a promotion in September, a reduced price for the rest of the season. By that time Alvarez and Lincoln should be on the big team, and everyone will be positioning themselves for jobs next year. I'll look at a handful of games before hockey comes back. If they look good, I'll go through the same considerations next year.

But they'd better knock off this 20-0 shit.

Abso-fucking-lutely

From Ezra Klein's blog in The Washington Post (read the entire post for proper context):

As Miller says, this sort of politics lends itself nicely to thinly sliced marginal tax rates. Right now, the top tax bracket begins at $373,650 and extends into infinity. But there's no reason you couldn't have a slightly higher rate starting at $500,000. And then a bit higher at $1 million and on and on...

Practicing What They Preach

From Paul Krugman's blog:

I just had dinner in DC with a bunch of geographers, at a cute French bistro near Dupont Circle. And who should walk in but about eight tea partiers, still carrying their protest signs. They marched in, then upstairs, and sat down for dinner.

Presumably their steak frites came with freedom fries.

Oh, and based on casual observation, every member of the group was on Social Security and Medicare. I guess they’re determined not to let the government get its hands on either program.

Going Postal

The United States Postal Service is a favorite whipping boy for opponents of government. FedEx and UPS deliver faster, more reliably, and cheaper. USPS needs to close post offices, suspend Saturday delivery, and, for God’s sake, get rid of those Cliff Claven, Newman-esque employees. (Full disclosure: my brother is a letter carrier.)

Here’s a suggestion: maybe USPS could emulate some of FedEx’s and UPS’s business practices. How about letting them cherry pick where things get delivered. Today, you need something delivered to Grandma’s farm in South Bumfuck, NE, it costs you the same as sending it across town. UPS and FedEx may not even deliver it.

It’s true a lot of things are wrong with the Postal Service, but what they routinely accomplish is amazing. Last Sunday I placed an order online and took the cheapest shipping option available: USPS Parcel Post. The package arrived Tuesday morning. It was shipped on Monday, and arrived Tuesday. No fee for special overnight. Granted, it wasn’t guaranteed, but try sending something FedEx Ground and have it get there overnight, even though it only went a hundred miles or so. “FedEx doesn’t isn’t set up to do that kind of thing?” Right. USPS is, and it costs.

This is a prime example of how those who continue to advocate for ever smaller government don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. There are some things government is uniquely suited to do, because they have to be done and can’t really be done profitably. Mail delivery is a good example. The next time someone bitches about it, ask them if they’d prefer to have to shop around to make sure a letter can even be delivered to the address they’re requesting before they mail it.

Oh, wait. No one else will even deal with a plain old envelope. Too cost-inefficient. Maybe we should just bite the bullet and subsidize USPS after all.

The Law of Unintended Consequences Licks Its Chops

Newt Gingrich’s Contract With America having worked so well, the Tea Party movement has come up with something they call the Contract From America, where almost half a million of Sarah Palin’s “real Americans” voted on what’s important to them. No offense, but these are half a million of the dumbest sons of bitches ever to walk the earth. (Granted, calling someone a dumb son of a bitch and prefacing it with “no offense” may be an oxymoron, but these folks aren’t long on a sense of irony.)

Here’s the Contract From America. Voting percentages are in parentheses; my comments in italics.

(1) Protect the Constitution: Require each bill to identify the specific provision of the Constitution that gives Congress the power to do what the bill does (82.03 percent). Be careful what you ask for. No telling how many things near and dear to you will bite the dust under a strict interpretation of this standard.

(2) Reject Cap & Trade: Stop costly new regulations that would increase unemployment, raise consumers prices, and weaken the nation's global competitiveness with virtually no impact on global temperatures (72.20 percent). A lot of editorializing here. How about some genuine evidence that Cap and Trade will do all these things? (Or won’t do the things you say it won’t do.)

(3) Demand a Balanced Budget: Begin the Constitutional amendment process to require a balanced budget with a two-thirds majority needed for any tax hike. (69.69 percent) A balanced budget is an admirable goal; requiring one is lunacy. There are times when debt is necessary. State governments are cases in point; look at the problems they have in a recession because they can’t borrow to get them over the hump. Not all debt is created equal. Here’s an example: would anyone involved with this think it’s a good idea for someone to assume debt that amounts to several times their annual income? Pretty much takes buying a house out of the equation.

(4) Enact Fundamental Tax Reform: Adopt a simple and fair single-rate tax system by scrapping the internal revenue code and replacing it with one that is no longer than 4,543 words -- the length of the original Constitution. (64.90 percent). The tax code is an abomination, but a symbolic and arbitrary restriction of its length is a cute gimmick someone thought up because he knew it had the kind of cachet people who act without thinking would enjoy.

(5) Restore Fiscal Responsibility & Constitutionally Limited Government in Washington: Create a Blue Ribbon taskforce that engages in a complete audit of federal agencies and programs, assessing their Constitutionality, and identifying duplication, waste, ineffectiveness, and agencies and programs better left for the states or local authorities, or ripe for wholesale reform or elimination due to our efforts to restore limited government consistent with the U.S. Constitution's meaning. (63.37 percent) Restoring Constitutionally limited government by making government larger through the creation of this panel—which is, in itself, extra-Constitutional—is delusional. This would, of course, be an apolitical group, right? Or would it be a collection of the most fair and balanced thinkers the Tea Party can find?

(6) End Runaway Government Spending: Impose a statutory cap limiting the annual growth in total federal spending to the sum of the inflation rate plus the percentage of population growth. (56.57 percent). This, along with the balanced budget bullshit, would make it impossible to respond to emergencies. What would you do in case of a catastrophe or war?

(7) Defund, Repeal & Replace Government-run Health Care: Defund, repeal and replace the recently passed government-run health care with a system that actually makes health care and insurance more affordable by enabling a competitive, open, and transparent free-market health care and health insurance system that isn't restricted by state boundaries. (56.39 percent). They saved the best for last here: “free-market health care and health insurance system that isn't restricted by state boundaries.” This is how credit cards work now, where all the companies flock to the state willing to write the weakest regulations. It’s worked so well even Republicans voted to restrict it last year.

(8) Pass an 'All-of-the-Above' Energy Policy: Authorize the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries and reduce regulatory barriers to all other forms of energy creation, lowering prices and creating competition and jobs. (55.51 percent). Notice how “all of the above” never seems to include using less of the shit.

(9) Stop the Pork: Place a moratorium on all earmarks until the budget is balanced, and then require a 2/3 majority to pass any earmark. (55.47 percent). No money should be spent without being voted on. However, earmarks don’t make up enough of the budget to make much of a difference. In addition, why should this spending be held to a higher standard (2/3 majority) than any other spending?

(10) Stop the Tax Hikes: Permanently repeal all tax hikes, including those to the income, capital gains and death taxes, currently scheduled to begin in 2011. (53.38 percent). These aren’t really tax hikes; for the most part, they’re the expiration of tax cuts that were only passable because they had expiration dates. If you really want to go back to the good old days of prosperity and Beaver Cleaver wholesomeness, let adopt the tax rates from the Fifties, where the top rate was around 90%.

H.L. Mencken once said that for every complex problem, there is a simple solution, and that solution is wrong. The Contract From America is living proof. The problems we face didn’t happen overnight, and they are the results of an almost unimaginable number of things working together beyond our control. Most people—me included—don’t want to deal with the subtleties and levels of complexity needed to understand—let alone fix—these problems. At least I’m willing to accept that this is going to be a long and hard struggle, and it’s not going to get any easier because people like the Tea Party want to fix Grandma’s reading glasses with a sledgehammer because they lack the patience and understanding to deal with all those little screws.

Yup

Ezra Klein, in today's Washington Post:

Contracts are sacred only when rich people are getting paid

Shahien Nasiripour reports that J.P. Morgan plans to go hard against policies to modify underwater mortgages because contracts are sacred documents premised on the borrowers' "promise to repay."

This struck one union employee as a bit odd: After all, the business community is constantly demanding that autoworkers and steelworkers and other well-compensated laborers change their contracts to remain more in sync with the times. In those cases, contracts don't appear to be all that sacred, and employers' aren't seen as having some cosmic "promise to repay."

"Next time big business or Republican Governors or Mayors are talking about how working families need to 'sacrifice' or 'give back' for the good of the community by altering their contracts," e-mailed the AFL-CIO's Eddie Vale, "let's remember what happens when the shoe is on the other foot."

The Igloo

The Penguins played the last regular season game at Mellon Arena last night, beating the Islanders 7-3. Sidney Crosby had four points, Bill Guerin had a couple of goals, and the crowd gave the building a standing O at the end.

The Pens had a nice, understated ceremony before the game, bringing out about fifty retired players and coaches for recognition, and a group photo with the current team. Fans handed replica jerseys over the glass; the players signed them and threw them back. A nice way for the old Igloo to officially go out.

The Beloved Spouse, Sole Heir, and I were back in Pittsburgh a couple of weeks ago to watch the Pens beat the Flyers 4-1, my last (their only) trip back to visit the first place I saw a hockey game. The dome still looks as impressive as ever, creating a perspective and quality of crowd sound not found elsewhere. It was the largest retractable dome in the world when it was completed in 1961. I attended a concert with the roof open during my college years, looking over the stage to Pittsburgh's skyline on a perfect night. An unforgettable experience.

In addition to hockey, I saw team tennis there, and several concerts. (Henry Mancini with Andy Williams, Herb Alpert, the Buddy Rich and Thad Jones/Mel Lewis big bands.) Just a kid--eight or nine--the first time I went, to see Mancini with my parents. Going back last week, with other experiences to compare it with, the concourses were cramped, the gates narrow, but I still felt the smallness that comes with awe when I entered the seating area and looked at the banners hanging from the roof and the miniature blimp that flies over the seats and drops coupons to the fans. (I won free nachos.)

It's too easy and tired to get maudlin when something like this passes, and even I readily admit the Igloo's time has passed. Modern times require different amenities. There's not even a proper interview room there, and the dressing rooms are Spartan in their luxury. Still, this is the building I grew up with, the most easily identifiable structure in downtown Pittsburgh. (The baseball and football stadiums are on the North Side.) Everything I'd heard and seen says the new Consol Energy Center will be great, truly the House that Mario Built.

If only they'd put a dome on it. Even a little one.

When Does It Become a Crime?

The Upper Big Branch mine had over 1,300 safety citations from mine inspectors in the few years leading up to last week's catastrophe that left at least 25 miners dead. No matter what the Supreme Court says, companies aren't people; they're legal fictions intended to allow the institution to enter into contracts and own property and assets.

Massey Energy didn't violate mine safety standards: people working under the auspices of Massey Energy did. For every violation cited, at least one person was responsible for its creation, or at least for not taking proper care of it. The company's repeated fines are accepted as part of the cost of doing business.

I want the responsible individuals--not only those who made the decisions, but also those who implemented them--held responsible. At the very least, the shareholders who approve of these actions through their silence should require management to answer for this, but I cannot fathom why criminal charges aren't forthcoming, or weren't brought earlier, before the accident. (At what point does gross negligence of safety standards force us not to call such an incident an accident?)

One more thing. For anyone who wonders why we need unions, this is why.

Breathing the Rarefied Air

The Pirates beat the Dodgers today, 11-5. This is the first time the Pirates have been in first place this late in the season in recent memory.

Today's Lesson on the Concept of Irony

The NFL recently voted to change its overtime rules for playoff games, but leave the existing rule in place for regular season games. Mark Maske reports in today's Washington Post:

Competition committee members have said they didn't propose the new system for regular season games in part because of wariness that the possibility of longer games would increase the risk of injuries being suffered by players.

The NFL seems intent on adding at least one, possibly two games to the regular season, which would increase the number of plays by approximately 150 per game, yet is worried an extra dozen or two plays a year (few teams play more than one overtime game each season) will be too risky.

Of course, they can charge for the two extra games; overtime is free football, and, in the NFL, ain't nothing free.

Misdirected Outrage

Bob Herbert of the New York Times made the same points in today’s column as I made in yesterday’s post, though Mr. Herbert was far more eloquent. He also raised an interesting point I wish I had thought of:

It is 2010, which means it is way past time for decent Americans to rise up against this kind of garbage, to fight it aggressively wherever it appears. And it is time for every American of good will to hold the Republican Party accountable for its role in tolerating, shielding and encouraging foul, mean-spirited and bigoted behavior in its ranks and among its strongest supporters.

For years now we’ve listened to people hurl insults at Muslims in general because of terrorist attacks. The justification has always been that reasonable Muslims don’t speak out enough about the terrorists in their midst, and are therefore somehow culpable themselves.

Same rules apply. If you’re a conservative, Republican, or tea partier of good conscience, where’s your outrage? Where were you when John Lewis was spat upon and called names you’ll swear never pass your lips? Where were you when Barney Frank had to walk the gauntlet over the weekend? Based on conservative Republican principles, silence is approval; if you’re not calling them out, you must agree with them. Instead, Republican “leaders” stand on the Capitol balcony and encourage more of the same, even indulge it themselves on the floor of the House.

The lack of civility in public discourse is breathtaking and alarming, and the bulk of the blame belongs to conservatives and Republicans. It wasn’t Pat Leahy who said, “go fuck yourself” to Dick Cheney; it was Cheney speaking to Leahy. (And don’t even mention what Joe Biden said to Obama yesterday as being in the same league. A personal comment inadvertently caught by an open microphone is nothing like shouting it across the floor of the Senate.) Racial and gay slurs. Spit. Demeaning the sick. Allegedly good Christians calling the president the anti-Christ.

Where’s your sense of outrage, Republicans? Conservatives? If you’re good with this, then keep quiet. Just don’t complain about being tarred with the same brush. Anyone who takes even vicarious pride in these actions has no shame.

Not a Proud Day

Michelle Obama got a lot of flak in 2008 for saying, ""For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback." It was, at best, poorly phrased; at worst, stupid. The immediate Conservative reaction, expressed within seconds by Cindy McCain, was, "I have and always will be proud of my country."

Let's not get carried away with that "always" business.

The United States and its citizens are not immune from doing things that should inspire any emotion but pride. The end game of the recent health insurance reform legislation offers many examples where nothing but shame should be applied.

How about the protesters taunting the Parkinson's victim as a freeloader? The racial, gay, and female epithets hurled at House members as they came and went? Even worse, the actions of some--some--Republican representatives to rile the crowd up more than they already were, instead of acting like the mature, cooler heads leaders are supposed to me.

As an American, I'm proud to see this nation accept some responsibilities toward its citizens the rest of the "advanced" world took on decades ago. (And without falling into totalitarianism or communism or having death panels, unless Great Britain, Germany, Canada, and many other industrial nations are hiding it awfully damn well.) I am also ashamed to live in a country where people not only condone, but take pride in the actions described in the previous paragraph.

Considering how often we like to call ourselves a Christian nation, we sure have a lot to learn about treating our fellow man.

The United States Joins the Industrial World

President Obama signed the health insurance reform bill today. My friend Charlie Stella will disagree with me, but I think this is the most significant piece of legislation to be enacted during my adult life. (I was none when Medicare passed.)

The bill doesn't go far enough, but it's a start. History has shown what was enacted today is more likely to be added to than to be repealed. (Good luck trying to take its beneficial provisions away from people once they actually get to experience those benefits.) The public option was lost, but that was a big step for a country as polarized as we are right now. I truly believe we will have a single payer system--or exchanges that closely mimic one--possibly in my lifetime.

There are key provisions we must not forget when lamenting what could have been accomplished. Once it's fully implemented, people should no longer have to worry about losing their homes or forfeiting their children's education because they got sick. They won't have to worry about an insurance provider arbitrarily denying them coverage because of a pre-existing condition. They won't have to worry about losing their coverage because it looks like their care is going to get expensive, or because they lost their job and can't afford the COBRA payments.

Systemically, this law should start to put the brakes on the unchecked growth of health care spending. Rather than Republicans crying doom because the government is taking over 1/6 of the economy--which it isn't--they should be happy that this bill may help to make health care only 1/7 of the economy some day. Payments will be made on the efficacy of care, not the frequency.

A flawed bill? Of course; in someone's eyes, every bill is flawed. The perfect legislation has yet to be conceived. Still, it's a good start, and it's only fair for critics such as I to give due credit to Barack Obama, Harry Reid, and, maybe most, Nancy Pelosi for getting it done.

True Story

Questions that should have gone to the Help Desk here at [agency name redacted] sometimes come to me. Yesterday a woman called with a request to change her password. She didn't remember the old password, nor could she remember the name of her favorite TV show, which was the security question she chose to allow the system to reset the password without human intervention.

I referred her to the Help Desk. In retrospect, what I should have done was offer to help her.

"What night is it on?"

"Who's in it?"

"What channel is it on?"

Seen how long it would take her to decide it would be easier to call the Help Desk in the first place, like she was supposed to.

Why Politicians Aren't Trusted

Ezra Klein interviewed retiring Indiana Senator Evan Bayh over the weekend. While discussing the importance of interpersonal relationships among senators in both parties, and how this can create the comity necessary for consensus, Bayh made the following comment:

My father [the late Indiana Senator Birch Bayh] was on the Judiciary Committee all 18 years. He had a good personal relationship with Jim Eastland. They probably didn't agree on practically anything, or very little, from a public policy standpoint. But they were willing to work through that to see what they could get done just because they knew each other and liked each other. Eastland was a strident anti-Communist and would routinely denounce Castro on the floor of the Senate, and called my dad in one day, sat down, and he's got this humidor and says, "Birch, can I offer you one of these fine Havana cigars?" So there was an example of even Senator Eastland putting pragmatism ahead of ideology.

James Eastland was not a pragmatist; he was a hypocrit and criminal. For someone to "routinely denounce Castro on the floor of the Senate" while violating the embargo on Cuban goods is prima facie evidence of both. (We'll leave aside the fact that Eastland was an ardent racist for a different discussion.)

Congress has long made itself above the people it has sworn to govern; laws that apply to the rest of us don't apply to them. That's not whining about their sense of entitlement; the laws are actually writtne that way. The next time a congressman or senator laments the low esteem in which the public holds our government institutions, hand him a mirror. The clean-up can start there.

Give 'em Hell, Harry

I have been (justifiably) harsh in my comments about Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid for his unwillingness to stand up to Republicans and use the authority vested in the majority by the Constitution and voters. Therefore, it is only fair and right to give credit when Harry gets one right.

Today he sent a letter to Minority leader Mitch McConnell. The jist of it is below, taken from Ezra Klein's blog on the Washington Post website:

Though we have tried to engage in a serious discussion, our efforts have been met by repeatedly debunked myths and outright lies. At the same time, Republicans have resorted to extraordinary legislative maneuvers in an effort not to improve the bill, but to delay and kill it. After watching these tactics for nearly a year, there is only one conclusion an objective observer could make: these Republican maneuvers are rooted less in substantive policy concerns and more in a partisan desire to discredit Democrats, bolster Republicans, and protect the status quo on behalf of the insurance industry.[...]

60 Senators voted to pass historic reform that will make health insurance more affordable, make health insurance companies more accountable and reduce our deficit by roughly a trillion dollars. The House passed a similar bill. However, many Republicans now are demanding that we simply ignore the progress we’ve made, the extensive debate and negotiations we’ve held, the amendments we’ve added (including more than 100 from Republicans) and the votes of a supermajority in favor of a bill whose contents the American people unambiguously support. We will not. We will finish the job. We will do so by revising individual elements of the bills both Houses of Congress passed last year, and we plan to use the regular budget reconciliation process that the Republican caucus has used many times.

I know that many Republicans have expressed concerns with our use of the existing Senate rules, but their argument is unjustified. There is nothing unusual or extraordinary about the use of reconciliation. As one of the most senior Senators in your caucus, Sen. Judd Gregg of New Hampshire, said in explaining the use of this very same option, “Is there something wrong with majority rules? I don’t think so.” Similarly, as non-partisan congressional scholars Thomas Mann and Norm Ornstein said in this Sunday’s New York Times, our proposal is “compatible with the law, Senate rules and the framers’ intent.”

Reconciliation is designed to deal with budget-related matters, and some have expressed doubt that it could be used for comprehensive health care reform that includes many policies with no budget implications. But the reconciliation bill now under consideration would not be the vehicle for comprehensive reform – that bill already passed outside of reconciliation with 60 votes. Instead, reconciliation would be used to make a modest number of changes to the original legislation, all of which would be budget-related. There is nothing inappropriate about this. Reconciliation has been used many times for a variety of health-related matters, including the establishment of the Children’s Health Insurance Program and COBRA benefits, and many changes to Medicare and Medicaid.

As you know, the vast majority of bills developed through reconciliation were passed by Republican Congresses and signed into law by Republican Presidents – including President Bush’s massive, budget-busting tax breaks for multi-millionaires. Given this history, one might conclude that Republicans believe a majority vote is sufficient to increase the deficit and benefit the super-rich, but not to reduce the deficit and benefit the middle class. Alternatively, perhaps Republicans believe a majority vote is appropriate only when Republicans are in the majority. Either way, we disagree. Keep in mind that reconciliation will not exclude Republicans from the legislative process. You will continue to have an opportunity to offer amendments and change the shape of the legislation. In addition, at the end of the process, the bill can pass only if it wins a democratic, up-or-down majority vote. If Republicans want to vote against a bill that reduces health care costs, fills the prescription drug “donut hole” for seniors and reduces the deficit, you will have every right to do so.

That's about as close to "We're going to shove this bill up your ass if we have to" as any letter between senators is likely to get.

International Hypocrisy

Congress doesn't own the franchise on hypocrisy. Take Japan, for example. The rest of the world can get together on not hunting whales or fishing bluefin tuna. Not them. "It's part of our culture," they say.

Isn't it also part of Japanese culture to commit ritual suicide when they fuck up? Yet I've seen no reports of Toyota executives disemboweling themselves.

Show us some blood-stained daggers and we'll reconsider the fishing ban.

A Matter of Perspective

Michael Shear had an interesting and entertaining chat in Today's Washington Post. The last question and answer deserves notice:

Dale City, VA: There were over a thousand protesters marching in SUPPORT of the health care bill in Washington yesterday. Why wasn't that on the front page of the Post the same way as the Tea Party protests were? The Tea Party fringe seem to get a lot more coverage than the left gets.

Michael D. Shear: These things are a day-to-day decision (and not mine.) But keep in mind, we put the president on the front page virtually every day, including, as I recall, just two days ago giving a blistering speech in favor of health reform.

Shear's right: the President is on the front page stumping for health care daily. That's not the essense of the question. When a Tea party demonstration, however small, is covered, the implied message is it is the voice of the people. When a pro-health care demonstration is ignored because the President has already received the daily allotment of health care ink, the impression created is that politicians are cramming this down people's throats. That's not true; there is genune disagreement about the bill, but there are a lot of citizens who are strongly in favor of it.

The Post should be more careful in the context of its coverage; merely equalizing the number of pro and con inches devoted to any issue doesn't serve its readership well.

Why I Don't Watch TV News

Because of bullshit like this.

Why People Oppose Health Care Reform

The polling on health care reform is somewhat confusing and misleading. A recent Gallup poll shows a small plurality are against the bill's passage, though sizable majorities are in favor of the individual components.

Among the reasons cited for not wanting the bill to pass:
- Insurance premiums will go up. (based on the Congressional Budget Office's scoring, premium costs will actually decrease.)
- They don't want the government deciding what health care they can have. (This isn't in the bill.)
- They're against the public option. (Also not in the bill.)

Left out of most discussions is the real reason why most people who oppose health care reform are against it.

Happy Birthdays to You

Happy Birthdays to you,
Happy Birthdays to you,
Happy Birthdays dear Beloved Spouse and Sole Heir,
Happy Birhtdays to you.

Among the many serendipitous occurrences of my life, the two best reasons I have for getting out of bed in the morning share a birthday. Today's the day. How cool is that?

A Bad Sign

Once or twice a year I get to jonesing for a hotdog from one of those carts you see along the sidewalk. Today was the day. By 11:00 the monkey had climbed all the way up my back and I put on my coat to face a freezing, windy day for the one block walk to the nearest street vendor to order one with chili and onions (if they were crunchy).

She wasn't there.

I got over it. Now I can get a decent hotdog tomorrow, with real chili and fresh onions. What disturbs me is her taking the day off in the first place. What does it say about this nation when we can no longer depend on immigrants to do the jobs we won't do?

Congratulations, Dads

Sometime the middle of this afternoon, the Show Tunes Correspondent and his partner will become fathers. I’ve watched them go through the process, the waiting and stress and one major disappointment, and I’m delighted it’s about to work out for them.

The best week of my life, without doubt, was the first week The Sole Heir came to live with her mother and me Her birth was a long (34 hour) process that, while I’ll never forget any of it, was so physically and emotionally draining all I could do when I got home was throw up and fall facedown into bed. I awoke with one foot on the floor, and my coat on the stairs. (I know I got off easy, but her mother got drugs.)

Ah, but the week after she first came home. I took a little time off work and we shut out the rest of the world. All we did was tend to the baby: fed her, changed her, held her, rocked her, put her to sleep, established a routine, got the dogs used to her, played with her in the limited ways you can with an infant, seeing what she liked. All the things that create the initial bonds both parents and child will work with for the rest of their lives.

And it was bliss.

Today starts their week. I hope they enjoy it as much as I did, because it will never come again. I know each child is a treasure in their own right, and the experience repeats every time a new baby gets brought home. I also know there’s nothing quite like doing something for the first time, how many of the warm feelings from a re-do stem from those memories.

I’m a little jealous.

Why The Sole Heir Is The Sole Heir

From today's "Shit My Dad Says:"

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

I have succeeded.

Tiger's Zoo

I didn’t care much about Tiger Woods, even before the seamy details of his life became public. I think his course behavior is unprofessional, and his caddy is a thug. I don’t like what golf has become since he made the scene, though I don’t blame him for that; it’s television’s decision to cover the final two rounds of every tournament he enters as “Tiger Woods and the Low 69 (Plus Ties) Dwarfs.” He is quite likely the most talented person ever to strike a golf ball, and he may be the greatest player ever. He has a ways to go to match up with Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson, and Arnold Palmer as a sportsman, no matter how many majors he wins. His marital transgressions and their consequences don’t interest me nearly as much as their interpretation by others.

Reaction to last Friday’s mea culpa press conference seems to run about 4-1 in his favor. The most common response is, he’s done what he needed to do. He knows he was wrong, he’s moving on, and—most importantly—he gets it.

What is it about Tiger’s performance on Friday that implies this? Was it his use of the word “entitlement?” That came up a lot. “He said he had a sense of entitlement. He gets it. The planets can go back to circling the earth again.”

Anyone who’s read this far knows what he said; there’s no need to rehash it. Here are several arguments to support the concept that he doesn’t get it:

He asked for, and obtained, the use of the PGA Tour’s best known tournament players’ course—Sawgrass—for his presser. True, it’s handy to his home, but Tiger Woods can afford to find a facility. The Tour should have stayed far away from placing anything resembling its imprimatur on this, in large part because…

There was a significant Tour event going on that very day that should have earned the primary publicity spot. Hard to believe it’s a coincidence Tiger chose the day of the World Match Play quarterfinals for his announcement, especially since the tournament is sponsored by Accenture, the first company to pull Tiger’s endorsements when things went bad for him. Ernie Els gets it, saying, “Monday is for apologies.”

Tiger’s still blaming the media, which is bizarre. The media have kissed his ass for years; no one in sports dictates to the media how he will be treated more than he does, and no one in sports whines about his treatment more. Enough already.

The first refuge of a contemporary public figure caught in a scandal is to plead addiction. Tiger claims a sex addiction. Maybe he’s just an asshole; many of the symptoms are the same. The Beloved Spouse and I discussed this the other night. She wondered if Tiger was taking heat unfairly; after all, did he ever say anything to support the image his sponsors were broadcasting about him?

In fairness, no. He also didn’t argue against it, and he took the money. He’s probably a billionaire, in large part because of that image. If it’s unfair for him to subjected to such scrutiny now, it was also unfair for him to have earned such respect and wealth under false pretenses. Basketball star Charles Barkley famously said he was no role model, and told kids your fathers are role models. Doctors are role models. Cops. It cost Barkley a lot of money in potential endorsements, but he already had a lot of money, so he got over it. Tiger can buy and sell Charles Barkley. Speaking out would hardly invite the wolf to his door.

Tiger says he’ll take time off the Tour to treat his addiction. He was vague about how long, implied it could be all year. If he truly has an addiction problem, then maybe this is a sign he’s serious. Misogynistic cretin Steve Czaban, speaking on local sports talk radio, blamed the extended absence on Elin, a manipulation. “What if he takes a year off and she decides she still doesn’t want him back,” Czaban worried. “That’s four possible majors he could have won.”

No, moron. This is on him. Period. If he’s truly addicted, the last thing he needs to is be sent unsupervised to face the same temptations he failed to deal with before. Unlike some poor schmuck making forty grand a year, Tiger can afford to take a year off to get clean and try to repair the relationship. If he wants to.

Talk’s cheap. The first public test of his seriousness will be when he returns to the Tour. Will he still slam clubs and curse his bad shots? Will Steve Williams be allowed to come heavy to carry his bag? Or will Tiger make a little time for autographs, maybe even play in some of the smaller tournaments that gave him sponsor’s exemptions before he had his Tour card, allowed him to break on the scene as spectacularly as he did.

No one should receive a free pass just for saying he gets it; let’s see what he does before lining up to kiss his ass again.

From the Network That Fired Conan and Kept Jay

Anyone looking for examples of what’s wrong with contemporary television need only watch an evening of NBC’s Olympic coverage to be satisfied for a year. Assuming you can figure out what’s on.

Olympic program listings are always pot luck affairs. Schedules change due to weather; unexpected events may require more coverage. The advent of this whole Interwebs thing should give NBC an opportunity to keep potential viewers relatively well informed. Should. The web site’s program guide has been incorrect several times already, as, apparently, have been the schedules released to the cable and FiOS providers. I set the DVR to record the opening games of the American and Canadian men’s hockey teams the other day, right off my program guide, and came home to several hours of curling.

Even when the guide is right, it’s incomplete. Many listings just say, “XXI Winter Olympics – Sweden at Canada.” (Actually, only one said that. It’s an example.) Doesn’t say which sport. Could be hockey, could be curling. Could be men’s or women’s. Since the listings on screen sometimes disagree with the listings on the web site, and each has already been proven wrong on more than one non-weather-related occasion, it’s hard to know when things are happening.

It’s possible NBC doesn’t want you to record afternoon events because you’ll watch them in the evening instead of their big ticket commercials. Television as we know it exists to generate advertising revenue; programming is included only because the networks need something to entice you into watching their commercials. (Think about it: if NBC thought you’d watch nothing but commercials for three hours a night, do you really believe they’d bother with this Olympics nonsense?)

For a time, the networks allowed us to believe they viewed commercials as a necessary evil; they had to pay for the programming somehow. Now they don’t try to disguise the fact they only broadcast programming to get you to watch the commercials. Sports segments from Vancouver have been as short as two or three minutes. A couple of ski runs or speed skating races. A typical schedule looks like this: a four-and-a-half minute figure skating routine, followed by two or more minutes of commercials, followed by the skaters receiving their scores (a couple of minutes), followed by more commercials. Repeat till midnight.

Figure skating was chosen for the above example because if there’s any going on, that’s what you’ll see. A signature event of the Winter Olympics, akin to the 1500 meter run or 100 meter dash in the summer, is the men’s downhill. This year the downhill was postponed a few days due to bad weather. When it finally went off, it was the same day as figure skating. Six two-minute runs were shown in the course of forty minutes of commercials and features; basically the medal winners and other Americans. Figure skating filled a couple of hours, including skaters the announcers admitted were only there to gain experience. They had no chance to medal. Even to an untrained eye, it was easy to see they were the second team.

I’m sure NBC has research that shows women watch a lot of figure skating, and that keeps their ratings up. The supposition must be that men in the coveted 25-49 age group who are into competition more than aesthetics will put up with that to see some sliders or jumpers. Maybe it’s even accurate. All I know is the chats I have seen are unhappy with the coverage by about 4-1; this is the first time I can remember using the DVR to fast-forward through the programming as much as the commercials.

The allure of the Olympics is such not even NBC can ruin it completely. Watching the joy of Canada win its first gold medals on home soil was uplifting. Apolo Anton Ohno is an engaging personality with a load of talent in an entertaining sport. I’m not into snowboarding, but Shaun White is impossible not to watch. Lindsey Vonn would be America’s sweetheart if she were a skater. The hockey tournament will be riveting as the elimination games begin.

If only I knew when they’d be on.

Leadership

I'm in the tank already for Steven Pearlstein, but today he has outdone himself.

A Fool and His Money

The icemaker in my refrigerator stopped working.

Forethinking individual that I am, I have a homeowner’s warranty to cover this. For a mere $60, they send a refrigeration specialist to fix whatever is wrong, even if that means replacing the refrigerator. (Not likely for this scenario, but comforting nevertheless.)

The refrigerator repairman came, listened to my description of the issue, and asked how was the water flow. Since we never use the water dispenser in the door (we have a water purifier with a nice-sized reservoir for drinking water), I didn’t know, and it had never occurred to me to check. He held a cup under the dispenser; water trickled out like ice melting off a ledge on a 34-degree day.

“The line’s bad,” he said. “Tell the plumber you need a quarter-inch saddle valve. That will fix it.” A relatively cheap education for $60.

I found a plumber on Angie’s List and scheduled an appointment for Presidents Day, when I knew I’d be home. In the interim, research showed it didn’t require a master’s degree in Plumbing Science to replace a saddle valve. The part was $5-$10, and it was nothing more complicated than shutting off the water, disconnecting the old valve, and putting the new in exactly the same place. Piece of cake.

But it was water. Bad experiences at a previous abode have made me paranoid about water issues. It seeks its own level, and that level can be up to my ears while I’m laying in bed. I’m also not the handiest person in the world; switching out the storm windows for screens has been a three hour chore, and the screens and storms were self-contained. Still, I had myself half talked into doing it when Snowpocalypse 2010 struck, leaving me plenty of time to work, but no way to get the part.

The hell with it; I let the plumber come as scheduled. Two professional, courteous gentleman shut off the water, took off the old valve, and put a new one in exactly the same place for $199, including $45 for the part. (Yes, I know.) The plumber sent me upstairs to try the water dispenser. Nada.

He looked confused when I told him, for maybe ten seconds. Then he said, “When’s the last time you changed the filter?”

Oops.

So far it’s cost me $259 to learn I needed a $26 filter that I could have bought right from the get-go to uphold the basic principle of troubleshooting: Is it plugged in? Always start with the simplest thing to check and the cheapest to replace first, then work your way up.

I told you I wasn’t very handy.

Is It Just Me?

USA Today has announced all staff members must take a one-week furlough without pay sometime between February 28 and July 3, to combat lost revenue due to slumping ad sales.

Wouldn't it be easier on the employees--not to mention less disruptive to the paper's operations--just to make everyone take every fourth Friday off without pay? It would spread out the pain to the employees, and allow work to get done, as the work week would be consolidated so people aren't missed as much?

Am I missing something here, or does MBA school require all graduates only to address issues with the bluntest available instrument?

A Note to Our Loyal Readers

Both of you.

The Home Office has made a conscious decision not to indulge in any whiny, woe-is-me commentary about the recent snow storms, nor to inflict upon you any pictures of how much worse my snow was than yours. Which we all know it was. Everyone's snow is worse than anyone else's, mine included.

You're welcome.

Geaux Saints, Part Deux

I was going to title this post, "Who Dat?" in honor of the Saints' victory, but The Who's halftime performance still rings too painfully in my ears for that to be appropriate.

The Who has been my favorite rock band for over twenty years, largely because they stayed closes to their R&B roots, and partly because their songs had the most musical interest for a trained musician, thanks to Pete Townshend and John Entwistle. Now it's just Pete and Roger Daltry, and the party's over. Townshend can still play guitar, but he looks and sounds like someone in his seventies who's having trouble with his dentures. Daltry looks relatively healthy, but his voice is gone. He skipped from octave to octave more often last night than a Haitian seismograph needle. Entwistle's dead, and it matters. I'm sure the bassist they got is good, but Entwistle was a phenomenon, one of the most important supporting players any band ever had, with the possible exception of Rocco Prestia of Tower of Power. (Clarence Clemons comes to mind, but he was featured enough it's hard to think of him as a supporting player.)

I'm listening to some old Who today to get the taste of last night out of my ears. The Super Bowl halftime show was like seeing the prettiest girl in high school—the one you always had the crush on but never had the nerve to ask out—thirty hard years later, and she's not just fat and hard-looking, but kind of trashy. After all the anticipation, you'd rather have remembered her as she was than see her again.

The commercials were nothing special. I'm not sure what the fascination was with men in their underwear this year, but let's stop it now. The best ad was for the Google, tracing the history of a relationship through searches, from the first query about study abroad to the final, "how to build a crib." Touching, and showed perfectly what the product is for.

I mention the game last, because it always seems to be an afterthought at the Super Bowl Experience. What wasn't mentioned during what was a close game until the very end was what an ass whipping the Saints put on the Colts once they got their legs under them after that lousy first quarter. They outscored the Colts 31-7 from that point on, and probably outgained them 2-1, at least until some of the garbage time yards on their last drive.

Kudos to Colts coach Jim Caldwell for not calling the obligatory timeouts after the final change of possession. They couldn't have affected the outcome, yet coaches insist on using them to delay the inevitable. It was classy of Caldwell not to make the Saints wait any longer than they had to.

Can no one tackle anymore? The current offensive trend of throwing fifty three-yard passes a game depends on receivers catching easy throws, then either making the defender miss, or breaking a tackle for yards after the catch. A good tackling team can stop this by, well, tackling, yet it seems to be a lost art. Pittsburgh won the Super Bowl last year in large part because they were an exceptional tackling team. This year they didn't tackle as well for a number of reasons, and they missed the playoffs. If defensive backs could be taught to tackle maybe all this constant passing bullshit would pass and they could get back to playing real football again.

Saving the best for last, the highlight of the game, for me at least, was calling the ending during the third quarter. The game was still close then, very much in doubt, with few penalties and no turnovers, which is rare for a game this big. I turned to the Beloved Spouse and said the game would be decided by a key turnover, late. (Swear to God that's true.) Sure enough, Peyton Manning threw a Pick Six to put the game away for New Orleans.

A word about Manning. I told friends earlier in the week that among the reasons I wanted the Saints to win was because it was always fun to listen to Manning explain why a loss wasn't his fault. I haven't seen his comments yet (I've been a little occupied shoveling snow), but it's going to be a challenge this time. He has such an other-worldly persona now that Phil Simms missed the obvious call every analyst makes when a quarterback does what Manning did wrong on that play: he looked at his receiver all the way. Any defensive back watching Manning knew exactly where that ball was going. A rookie mistake.

Another, final, highlight—for me, at least—was getting to see Saints' Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams and back-up quarterback Mark Brunell get Super Bowl rings before Dan Snyder. This is a regular passion for me now, rooting for players and coaches who no longer play for the Redskins get the brass ring before The Prince of Darkness. Williams got shafted after having been named coach-in-waiting during the Gibbs 2.0 years. The only thing that could have been sweeter would be for Norv Turner to win it.

There's always next year.

The Seamy Side of Politics

Read Ezra Klein's brief post from today's Washington Post and follow the link. As he says, shocking.

Civilian Trials for Terrorists

Slate's Dahlia Lithwick wants to know why Republicans are so afraid of open trials for terrorists, especially wanna-be Christmas Day bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab.

It's the Abdulmutallab trial the confuses me. (Like spelling his name isn't confusing enough.) It's not like anyone has to worry about any super-secret intelligence and counter-terrorism techniques will be exposed if he's tried. A civilian airline passenger--a foreigner, no less--caught him red-handed. They have everything they need to convict him right there; it's a slam dunk. If they don't introduce evidence obtained in a secret manner--which they shouldn't need to--the defense can't ask for it, as it's not germane.

Really, what are they so afraid of, when our criminal justice system was just the ticket for Zacarias Moussaoui and Richard Reid?

They Really Do Want to Take Away Your Medicare

It's just not who you think.

If the Democrats can't make something of this, they're not trying.

Another Steny-gram

I know I'm preaching to an empty church here, but there's not much else to do at this point.

Dear Majority Leader Hoyer,

I see in today's Washington Post that the President's political advisers are inclined toward letting health care reform linger while moving on to other topics. This is disappointing, as health care is more likely to die from lack of attention than from losing a key vote.

Democrats have gone 99% of the distance needed to pass this historic legislation. The bill is flawed, true, but it is an important step forward, not only as being the first real attempt to get health spending under control and ensure more Americans have fair and equitable coverage, but as a value statement going forward, acknowledging health care reform as a matter of grave national interest, even national security.

Losing a vote would be bad enough; to walk away from legislation Democrats have long asserted to be a core component of their beliefs is to cast doubt on the willingness of the party to govern. Politics is the art of the possible, not the art of the easy. American voters elect representatives and senators and pay them well, with substantial perquisites and pensions--including health care--so that difficult decisions are made, not avoided. It's time for the party to stand up.

The Democratic Party is in danger of losing more than a legislative fight here; its core constituency is at risk. I resigned my party affiliation last fall over my dissatisfaction with how the party did business. (Or failed to do it.) I still align myself with its alleged principles. If the party walks away from this now, I swear I'll never vote for a Democrat for national office as long as any current members are seated. Given my age, that means never.

Sincerely,
Dana King

Cowards and Hypocrites

Yesterday the Senate passed a resolution that raised the debt ceiling for the Federal government. A distasteful process to be sure, but without it the government defaults on its outstanding debt, which could be an economic catastrophe in several levels.

The following exchange took place, as chronicled by Dana Milbank in the Washington Post:

Before the debt-ceiling vote, Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.), chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, warned that a default by the Treasury would have a "cataclysmic result in the financial markets."

Sen. Judd Gregg (N.H.), the top Republican on budget matters, rose in opposition. "It is not responsible to raise the debt ceiling in this manner if you're not going to put in place any responsible activity to bring under control the rising debt."

Not going to put in place any responsible activity to bring under control the rising debt? The Senate voted Tuesday on just such an activity, a debt commission whose recommendations would get an up-or-down vote in Congress. Gregg joined Sen. Kent Conrad (D-N.D.) in introducing the bill, and Obama endorsed it. But a majority of Gregg's GOP caucus opposed the panel.

Baucus, the Democratic floor leader, realized he was wasting his breath. "I think we all know where we are," he said before one of Thursday's votes, declining the time he had been given to speak.

Baucus’s big mistake here was in ceding his remaining time. He should have called bullshit on Gregg, who is as big a phony as can be found in the Senate. This is why Democrats consistently lose the battle for the hearts and minds of the public. Republicans repeatedly obfuscate, lie, and repudiate what were allegedly the sincere and heartfelt convictions of only a few years ago, and the Dems never call them on it.

Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi should have staffers lined up, ready to hand rebuttals to any Democrat who follows a Republican who makes a false or hypocritical speech on the floor. Define “death panels” right after the lie is put out. Keep both images, the true and the false, in the public’s mind. Ask hard questions. “I ask my distinguished colleague why he stands so squarely against accumulating debt when he voted six times for budgets that increased the deficit during the Bush Administration?”

But they won’t. It’s hard to decide whether they’re more cowardly than they are stupid sometimes.

Why Newspapers Might Not Be Missed As Much As They Think

Sub-headline on the Senate's confirmation of Benjamin Bernanke to another term as Chairman of the Federal Reserve from the home page of today's Washington Post:

The Federal Reserve chairman scrapes by with the narrowest margin in the history of the position.

Bernanke was confirmed by a vote of 70-30. This is, admittedly, the closest vote ever for this position. It can hardly be considered "scraping by."

A Sense of Abandonment

A salient point from Paul Krugman's blog on Obama's proposed spending freeze:

And it’s a betrayal of everything Obama’s supporters thought they were working for. Just like that, Obama has embraced and validated the Republican world-view — and more specifically, he has embraced the policy ideas of the man he defeated in 2008. A correspondent writes, “I feel like an idiot for supporting this guy.”

Me, too.

Geaux Saints!

Since the Steelers have not held up their end of our unconditional fandom agreement by not making the playoffs this year, The Home Office has adopted the New Orleans Saints as our chosen in this year's Super Bowl. Saints fans have suffered long enough, and the city of New Orleans can use something to truly cheer for. They seem like a good bunch of guys, and the fact that they wear black and gold will make the visual transference of my support that much easier.

Besides, it's always fun to listen to Peyton Manning explain why it wasn't his fault the Colts lost.

Bait and Switch

The edifice of health insurance reform is crumbling, and Democrats are swinging the wrecking ball. The logical path would be for the House to pass the Senate bill, then for each house to pass “clean up” bills to address the differences; the Senate can pass these through the budget reconciliation process to avoid a filibuster. Since this time would normally be spent negotiating differences in conference committee, there’s no real downside.

Except the House doesn’t trust the Senate to do the right thing and wants the Senate to go first. Harry Reid can’t even get 51 of the 58 senators he allegedly leads (not counting Joe Lieberman) to sign a letter pledging to address the House’s concerns after the fact. Their attitude is, “We passed our bill. We’re not going to spend three weeks on some other bill.”

Passing bills is not the purpose of a legislature; governing is. That means doing more than the bare minimum of work calculated not to interfere with fund raising. Members of both houses say how hard they’ve worked on these bills. Bullshit. Some members have worked hard. The great majority have been doing whatever it is they do, waiting for the relevant committees to send them a bill they won’t read so they can check their polls and lobbyists to tell them how to vote.

What is President Obama’s response to the crumbling status of health care reform? He says he’s going to get tough on the big banks. The MO of this administration is now clear, based on its handling of the stimulus and health care battles: lay low, commit to nothing, claim victory if it passes, and walk away if it doesn’t.

Health care reform has been a cornerstone of Democratic philosophy for as long as I can remember, which is a considerable length of time. For all three branches of elected “leadership” to walk away from it this close to success, when success is still within reach, is unconscionable. To paraphrase Ezra Klein in the Washington Post (because I can’t find the link), this is like taking the ball to the one yard-line in an overtime football game, fumbling, then conceding the game. Given the current Democratic majorities, this attitude is prima facie evidence of an inability to govern.

Ted Kennedy’s endorsement was key to putting Obama over the top in the 2008 nomination campaign; Democratic senators will push each other away from microphones to tell what a great friend he was to them. Abandoning the legislative goal most dear to him in the manner in which they’re doing it is shameful, and shows health care reform was only ever important to them when it became convenient to trot it out at campaign time. To abdicate their professed commitments to it, and to him, is disgraceful.

My Letter to Congress

As luck would have it, my representative is House Majority Leader. He just received the following email, and will get a similar phone call later today.


Dear Majority Leader Hoyer,

The sounds of dismay coming from Democratic members of Congress in the aftermath of the Massachusetts special election are disturbing. True, that seat was the 60th vote against a filibuster. Democrats still have sizable majorities in both houses, and the nation needs this bill. Now is the time for our elected officials to show the leadership implied by their positions, not wring their hands.

Republicans have more or less had their way for over twenty years, in large part because they have shown will. I truly believe their goals are misguided and selfish, but they have shown the will to get their way. Now it’s time for the Democrats to show they, too, have will.

I understand the political realities. The bills that have been passed, especially by the Senate, do not, in my opinion, go far enough. They are still great improvements in the system that exists now. Go to your peers and ask which of them would be willing to tell a parent his child will die because the parents can’t afford insurance, or tell a child he will soon be orphaned because a nation with our wealth refuses to take care of its less fortunate. Health care is not an abstract concept. People die from its lack every day.

Many Democrats say the Massachusetts loss means it’s time to dial back their legislative ambitions. I would remind them the nation gave Democrats their substantial majorities precisely because of those ambitions. To abandon them now would be to repudiate the mandate handed you in 2008, and leave the field open for the Republicans, who are at least willing to act forcefully for what they want to do.

This can be the Democrats’ finest moment, as I truly believe health care reforms will become as popular as Social Security and Medicare, both of which Democrats enacted over Republican opposition. Speak out. Twist some arms. Use the legislative power available to the majority. Not to continue on the course we were promised is to abdicate your responsibilities, making the party not worthy of re-election. History remembers fondly those who dare.

Sincerely,
Dana King
Laurel MD

Where’s the Line?

Last week I came across a dilemma I've had before and have yet to find a satisfactory resolution. I read a blog, the subject of which dovetailed with a blog post of my own from the day before. I commented on the other person's blog, had to cut myself short when the length of my comment threatened to become blog-length.

Part of me wanted to post the link to my blog, but that seems tacky, wandering into the unattractive swamp of Blatant Self-Promotion. Anyone interested can click the link associated with my name in the comment on the other person's site and get to mine. Of course, they don't know that I've posted a more detailed comment already, even if they care.

I see three choices:

1. Continue as is.
   
2. Include my link in appropriate replies.
   
3. Indicate I have posted on the same topic at more length than the present comment.
   

I'd like to drive some traffic to the blog, but not at the expense of looking like I'm a parasite on better-known blogs.

Insights and advice are appreciated.

[Stuff His] Dad Says

I don't do Twitter. Facebook is bad enough; Twitter is the ultimate expression of the banal raised to an alleged art form.

A few weeks ago, the Show Tunes Correspondent exposed me to the Twitter site "Shit My Dad Says," where a Twit (if that's what they call Twitter users) posts entertaining things his 74-year-old father says, and the old man is a riot. Among my favorite over the past few weeks:

"Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down."

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."

"I need to change clothes? Wow. That's big talk coming from someone who looks like they robbed a Mervyn's."

"If mom calls, tell her I'm shitting... Son, marriage is about not having to lie about taking a shit."

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."

"Nobody is that important. They eat, shit, and screw, just like you. Maybe not shit like you, you got those stomach problems."

"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it."

"I hate paying bills... Son, don't say "me too." I didn't say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of "go away."

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

"You look just like Stephen Hawking...Relax, I meant like a non-paralyzed version of him. Feel better?... Fine. Forget I said it."

"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."

"I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."

"We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts."

"Pressure? Get married when you want. Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants."

"I like See's candy. Put me in a See's store, I'm eating candy. The whole world is Tiger's See's store, and the candy is vagina."

"Mom is smarter than you...No? Well, ask yourself this; has mom ever unknowingly had toilet paper hanging out of her ass?...Mom 1. You 0"

"Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the fucking back."

Yesterday he hit the jackpot:

"Might not do a damn bit of good, but tell people to donate to Haiti on your twitter thing." TEXT "Haiti" to 90999 to donate 10$

That's an old, crabby man with class. I want to be like him when I grow up.

The Poster Child for Increased Regulation

Goldman Sachs Chairman Lloyd Blankfein testified before the federal Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission yesterday. The following exchange is telling. (From Dana Millbank's column in today's Washington Post.)

"Would you look back on some of the financings as negligent or improper?" asked the commission chairman, former California state treasurer Phil Angelides.

"I think those were very typical behaviors in the context that we were in," Blankfein replied.

Angelides pointed out that others regarded Goldman's behavior -- in which the firm sold mortgage securities to customers and then placed bets against those same securities -- was "the most cynical" of practices. "It sounds to me a little bit like selling a car with faulty brakes and then buying an insurance policy on the buyer of those cars," observed the chairman.

Blankfein treated the chairman to a patronizing account of Goldman's function. "That's what a market is," the CEO explained.

Capitalism has proven to be the most effective economic system in history, when practiced reasonably. When pushed to its extreme, it may be the worst.

Today's Sign of American Decline

Baltimore is selling sponsorships of police horses.

Another Nail Pounded In

You know you're getting old when your spam stops having subjects like "Make her happy all night long," and "Natural Enhancement," to "Recover your independence with a power wheelchair."

As mine has.

Never Thought I’d Do This

I have been critical of Harry Reid in the past. (Here. And here. And then here and here. Wait, here's another. One more. No, two more. Ooh, a stray.) It is with no small amount of confusion and irony I find myself supporting him today.

Harry got himself into a jackpot this week for something he said a couple of years ago, when he mentioned—in what he thought were off-the-record comments—that Barack Obama could win the presidential election because he was "light skinned" and had "no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one." The controversy is reminiscent of one Obama himself created two years ago, when he referred to some Pennsylvania voters as "bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

I grew up on the cusp of the part of Pennsylvania Obama was talking about, and thought nothing of it; he was right. I know people like those he described. I was around in the 70s when the mills closed, and saw firsthand how the economic changes were received. I can't quibble with his assessment.

The same is true of Reid's comment. He didn't say it as a slur toward Obama; he was talking about a group of people—who could be from anywhere, but Obama's bitter Pennsylvanians certainly qualified—who might be willing to overlook Obama's race because he's not all that black, and he doesn't speak like he's auditioning for The Wire. You know it's true. Maybe it doesn't apply to you personally, but I defy anyone to argue the point with a straight face. There were people out there for whom that mattered, even if they wouldn't admit it in so many words.

Harry Reid has earned every shred of criticism I've given him over the years, but fair's fair. He shouldn't be pilloried for telling the truth.

Breaking News

Sarah Palin is going to work for Fox News.



Remember, you heard it here first.