Outrage Appropriation

 Earlier I wrote about Democrats not voting in sufficient numbers to get their way in elections, even when that way is what a majority of people want. I also mentioned another Democratic/Progressive problem was how they tend to turn on each other when the going gets tough. I’ll get to that today.

The Beloved Spouse™ belongs to a Facebook group of women committed to Progressive values. Everybody got along swimmingly until Harris lost. Now people who were all for wearing Chucks and pearls and blue bracelets are calling others out for continuing to do so after the election.

From what I can tell, this appears to be partly a racial issue. At least one Black woman called out white women for “letting us down again.” When it was noted that white woman do not vote as a monolith, then original complainant disagreed. Vigorously.

That was stupid enough on its face. What followed was worse. The accusation was made that white women who continue to wear their Chucks and pearls and blue bracelets are endangering marginalized groups by doing so. It’s allegedly virtue signaling to do these things now, and that white women shouldn’t point out how they may have stood up for a gay friend for fear of further endangering them.

That’s not just disappointing. It’s bullshit.

Wearing something to identify oneself as protesting endangers no one except the person so attired. Once a common theme for this appears – as did with the Chucks etc. – I’ll be all in on it. As it is, I wear a pair of rainbow sweatbands when I leave the house to show my support for the queer community. If people are willing to put themselves out there, who is anyone to complain?

Then  there are the white women who attack other white women for disagreeing, saying they can’t possibly know what it’s like to live as Black/brown/queer in this country. I have a news flash for them: neither do you. I love the term TBS has coined for this: outrage appropriation. Expect to see it in future posts.

It is not “performative” to show sincere support for others, however it’s done. Not everyone can afford to make donations, just as not everyone has the time to protest, and not everyone has the personality – or health – to organize or too actively take part in a group. They’re doing what they can. Shutting this down altogether can allow the MAG-ites to believe what they’re doing is all right with us. It’s not, and any way we can show this in greater numbers should be accepted in context.

This is not a new phenomenon. A while back a transgender acquaintance of mine posted to Facebook about a low passed in Tennessee(?) that required commercial establishments to display a sign if they allowed people to use the rest room of the gender they identified with. Clearly this was an attempt by the state to shame these establishments in the belief “good Christians” would neither shop nor shit there.

Why not, I suggested, use these signs to identify trans-friendly business and direct commerce their way, thus creating exactly the outcome the lawmakers didn’t want. Let’s see how quickly antagonistic business become more accommodating if being “good Christians” affected their wallets.

My acquaintance accused me of standing up for an abhorrent law. I thought I hadn’t made myself clear about how this could be a good thing for the trans community and was shot down eve harder. Turned out it wasn’t enough for me to support trans people; I had to support them in the way this woman wanted it done or I was as bad as the transphobes.

This, too, is bullshit. It’s also not the first time I encountered it. When someone who has no vested interest in standing up for you outside of a sense of decency wants to stand up for you, let them. Life is hard, we need all the help we can get. Support is where you find it, and that person may well not have the same ideas on how to accomplish things as you do. That doesn’t make them wrong. The best decisions are made through the most diverse set of inputs. Consider anything that might help until you know it will be counterproductive.

Needless to say, she and I are no longer even acquaintances.