I Hope Some Day This Post Will Seem Quaint and Foreign

I work almost exclusively from home now, which means I interact with far fewer people than in the past. The more I learn about people, I’m good with that.

Two gay friends of ours celebrated their first wedding anniversary the other day. The Beloved Spouse made a card for them; I delivered it. (I wouldn’t want anyone to think my contribution went no farther than a signature.) Last night I received a thank-you note, in which the money quote was:

We've both lost friends over their insistence that they "have no problem with us choosing to be gay" but they cannot recognize our relationship as a marriage.

I have no problem with such people choosing to be assholes, but I cannot recognize them as fully functional human beings.

In have several gay friends. (That I know of.) In all but one case, we were friends before I knew they were gay. Learning their sexual preference did not alter any of the things that made us friends. They had the same personalities, the same tastes, the same senses of humor, and enjoyed the same sports, music, television and movies. Nothing about them changed. Discovering they were gay was, to me, not unlike becoming aware they liked a style of music that did not interest me, or were addicted to Top Chef, or engaged in a sport in which I have no interest. (Yeah, I know…)

To allow same sex couples to have the same options as heterosexuals when it comes to marriage seems to be self-evident in the Preamble to the Constitution many homophobes claim to hold so dear. They are just as entitled to pursue happiness as any of us. As for the Biblical issues, I’m tired of God-fearing “Christians” only reading as far as Malachi. Even I am tolerant enough to understand there are those whose religious beliefs cannot accept homosexual behavior. Fine. If your church doesn’t want to perform or accept same-sex marriages, don’t. Christians are generally advised to follow St. Augustine’s admonition to “love the sinner but hate the sin.” Make an effort. (Do not take the liberty to consider this to be an anti-religious rant. It’s just that many homophobes like to dress their prejudices in religious robes in an effort to give them a veneer of respectability.)

Here’s an insight for homophobes: gays are just like you are. (Which is probably what scares them.) I’ve shared locker rooms with friends I knew to be gay; I’m sure I’ve done so with others I didn’t know about. Not one has ever made an advance toward me. I know of no gay person who would attempt to recruit someone—even if we grant the possibility that sexual preference is a choice—not because they’re ashamed of being gay, but because they’re painfully aware of the bullshit that must be endured.

Gays are parents, teachers, cops, athletes, soldiers, accountants, comedians, assholes, philanthropists, humble, arrogant, smart, stupid, loyal, faithless, religious, atheists, Buddhists, violent, passive, alcoholics, teetotalers, activists, and sloths. Just like everyone else. This is a line that need not be drawn, but, if you insist, you might enjoy Mississippi, which only last week got around to admitting slavery is a bad thing. You’ll fit right in on the wrong side of history.

An Open Letter to Chick Fil-A

Dan Cathy

CEO, Chick Fil-A

Dear Mr. Cathy,

I have been a fan of Chick Fil-A restaurants since serving at Fort McPherson during my time in the Army in the early 1980s; I have eaten at the original restaurant in Hapeville GA. I currently live in Laurel MD, and my wife and regularly eat at the local Chick-Fil-A. (By regularly, I mean at least once a week, sometimes more.) I believe it is the finest fast food restaurant I have seen, not only because of the quality of the food, but the exceptional cleanliness of the restaurant, and the courteous and friendly demeanor shown by everyone on the staff. I have mentioned this to managers on more than one occasion. I am sorry to say I will not eat there anymore, due to Chick Fil-A’s support of groups that actively advocate against same-sex marriage.

Make no mistake, I understand these groups—such as Focus On the Family—may perform many worthy functions for families. Unfortunately, their support for only the type of family they consider to be appropriate, and their efforts to limit the rights of any who would subscribe to a different view, are hateful and without compassion. I have several gay friends; my daughter’s godmother is gay. These are good people who have lived lives more difficult than they should have been because of intolerant views about a matter that is no one’s business but their own. I know of no person or organization providing evidence of any kind to show same-sex marriage affects anyone else’s marriage or family choices.

I understand there are religious issues in play here. I do not mean to be anti-religion. If a religion’s conscience does not allow it to accept same-sex marriages, that is their right. It is not their place to try to enforce such strictures on others. Too often Old Testament verses are quoted to damn those who are different, when any good Christian should look more to the New Testament and its lessons of tolerance, as the New Testament is where Christians are supposed to have taken their teachings.

This is a free country, and everyone is free to worship as they see fit. I think any self-proclaimed “Christian” organization should be more inclusive, but do not feel they should be forced to do so. All I am saying here is you can’t use any of my money to fund activities I find personally abhorrent, even if done indirectly.

Sincerely,

Dana King

Laurel MD

Questions We Should Ask

To any elected representative who opposes health insurance reform:
Why should your constituents not be able to get the same coverage you get?

To anyone who opposes gay marriage:
Can you cite one way in which allowing gays to marry will adversely affect your marriage, or anyone else’s?

To any member of the religious right who protests gay rights or abortion with venom and vitriol:
Is this what Jesus would do?

To pro-lifers who would argue that abortion is the killing of innocent babies and should be banned, except in the case of rape or incest:
Are those babies any less innocent than others?

Other situations and questions are invited in the comments section.

The Insidious Effects of Gay Marriage

I have been known to blame just about anything bad on the spread of gay marriage: the weather, the economy, losses by favorite sports teams, my inability to get published. You name it. The Show Tunes Correspondent has found a complete compendium of everything we can expect from the legalization of gay marriage here.