Are you ready for the Rapture, but concerned about your pets who will will be left behind with the other unbelievers? Don't trouble yourself. Here's a service that will put all your fears to rest. Anxious the person entrusted with your pet may be inadvertently saved himself? No worries. Just read this, from the Frequently Asked Questions page:
How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured?
Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.
The Home Office wishes to thank the Show Tunes Correspondent for pointing out this valuable service. You're welcome, and have a blessed day.