False Security

[Agency name redacted] is in the process of issuing new identification badges to all employees and contractors. New photographs, new fingerprints (in case they changed from last time),and the usual descriptive information. Date of Birth. Eye color. Hair color.

(Interesting side note: Two documents are required to prove your identity. Among the acceptable options are a U.S. state-issued drivers license and your current [agency name redacted] badge. No one seems to have recognized I used the former to obtain the latter in first place, so it’s not really two forms of ID, is it?)

My current hair color can safely be described as “mongrel.” When the pleasant young woman taking my information asked, I said, “Take your pick.” She gave me a closer look and laughed. When I was asked to proofread the data for accuracy, I saw “Gray” in the “Hair Color” line.

Bitch.