Thursday, April 16, 2009

More Wacky Texans

Texas Governor Rick Perry says the day could come when Texans want to secede from the Union. ""I believe the federal government has become oppressive. It's become oppressive in its size, its intrusion in the lives of its citizens, and its interference with the affairs of our state."

Texans at the April 15 Tea Bag rally showed an interesting perception of reality. Thirty-eight-year-old Melva Fried said the forced ouster of General Motors Corp. CEO Rick Wagoner was the last straw for her -- a symbol the federal government was moving toward socialism. "When a president can fire the head of a company, that's too much," she said, holding a sign that read "Stop Rewarding Failure." She did not explain how firing Wagoner for his failure was rewarding him.

Kudos to Governor Perry for wanting the onerous heel of the federal boot to be removed from their necks. Texans are more than capable of taking care of Texas on their own, thank you very much. Except for last week, when Perry called for FEMA to help with some pesky wildfires. Or last month, when he called for troops to patrol the Mexican border. Oh, and there was that time last winter when asked for an eighteen month extension of federal aid for debris removal from Hurricane Ike.

It has to be frustrating for such an independent, strong willed man to have to go to the Great White Father on bended knee. I feel his pain, and have an idea for its cure. Secede. Really. Go ahead. And take Mississippi with you. Louisiana and Alabama. Arkanses, for sure. Georgia. Florida. Pretty much toe whole Confederacy, if you like. (Northern Virginia will probably take a page from history and secede from Virginia itself, just like West Virginia did in 1861.) Y’all have been nothing but trouble for a hundred and fifty years and your contributions to American culture have been pretty much limited to grits and Larry the Cable Guy. We promise there will be no war to keep you this time.

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